Product Management Bullshit
Here's something driving me nuts: mental model and framework neuroticism.
"Come prepared to participate in the CIRCLE OF INFLUENCE activity."
"Before we begin, let's do a CROSS-FUNCTIONAL FORCE FIELD ANALYSIS to figure out why we're having such a hard time making positive change, and let's be sure to lean on FIRST PRINCIPLES all the way through."
"Make sure that all discussions follow the PYRAMID OF DECISION MAKING format and that everyone involved understands the SMART GOAL method for key deliverables."
"We'll be using LEAN HYPOTHESIS DESIGN principles to help us with the next phase of billing and invoicing work."
"I just think we need a good MENTAL MODEL before we can make any trade-off decisions whatsoever. Without a clear understanding of your MENTAL MODELS, and until we write a thesis that covers all GUIDING PRINCIPLES, and discuss with a committee to check it against our FRAMEWORK FOR ELIMINATING BIAS, we cannot get started."
"Hey everyone! Reminder to add your thoughts about the TRIPLE DIAMOND DESIGN METHOD before we start our Miro board IDEA INCUBATOR activity later today. The first 30 minutes will be silent as we add and categorize things around on the board, then we'll review ideas together."
"Actually, this method is rooted in BEHAVIORAL PSYCHOLOGY and we should talk about why that matters. I took three courses on behavioral psychology, and also my aunt is an established real estate marketer and life coach, so I've got a strong sense of how we should proceed with the user engagement initiative. I don't want us to spend too much time in the SOLUTION SPACE before we understand the PROBLEM SPACE."
It's like product managers found Tony Robbins, Thought Catalog, Socrates, and a washed out CPO on Substack, mashed everything together in Roam Research, and now all they do is talk, and talk, and talk about mental models, and frameworks, and motivation, and how to format a PRD, or product spec, or whether we should A/B test single words, or how long a table of contents should be, or whether we should use a template in Confluence for a meeting agenda, and on, and on. They produce nothing but acres of jargon.
Farnam Street fucked FigJam and out came a generation of framework-focused and risk averse product managers who never ship anything that matters.
All of the mental model talk, all of the framework discussion, all of the pontificating about first principles and behavioral psychology—it's knowledge porn for people with no skill, no taste, and no track record of making good decisions. It's post-modern product management and I want no part of it.